So Close
by koiapiks
Summary: It was then that it occurred to him that he couldn’t possibly have been forgiven. It was heaven’s pity that brought her to him at that moment only to lift her back to paradise and leave him burning for eternity. BxE


**Author's Note:**

This is my first Twilight fanfic, and my first songfic ever. I borrowed stuff from Midnight Sun and New Moon. BTW, the song that inspired me to write this is "So Close" by Jon McLaughlin from the OST of "Enchanted."

Honestly, I'm not really fond of what I was able to come up with. I just needed to write it down. It's not everyday something gets the creative juices flowing, y'know. Anyway, maybe I'd get down to improving this when I have the time.

So yeah, I don't own Twilight or any of its characters. I sure wish I owned Edward Cullen, though.

**So Close**

_You're in my arms  
And all the world is calm  
The music playing on for only two  
So close together  
And when I'm with you  
So close to feeling alive_

He twirled the bottle cap under his thumb and he could feel it coming on—a spark of inspiration. His free hand tickled the ivory keys on his grand piano. It's been years since he last played. As the once sharp, vivid colors faded to grey in his non-life, even music seemed to have lost its meaning. And here he was now playing—but he wasn't merely playing as he was wont in the past—he was worshipping. Each line of the tune was a testament to the girl's beauty.

Soon, he was lost in the intricate harmonies he'd fashioned after the image of her. Cheeks red-stained and searching brown eyes hidden from him in sleep; the steady rise and fall of her chest as she breathed, and oh, the beating of her heart. His dull world burst with the brightest colors and wondrous music. He had never felt more alive.

_A life goes by  
Romantic dreams will stop  
So I bid mine goodbye and never knew  
So close was waiting, waiting here with you  
And now forever I know  
All that I wanted to hold you  
So close  
_

He yearned to dream and the longing grew stronger as he watched her sleep. She would murmur his name so many times in slumber that he wondered if in dreams they loved with abandon.

Once, he closed his eyes and her image was bright behind his lids. He imagined holding her closer and closer still. He opened his eyes and saw the girl in his arms trembling from the cold. He had to let her go.

_So close to reaching that famous happy end  
Almost believing this was not pretend  
And now you're beside me and look how far we've come  
So far we are so close  
_

She was watching "Romeo and Juliet" and he was watching her. He was caught up in thinking how he'd ever lived without the girl nestled perfectly against him. She was more than he'd ever thought to ask for—more than he deserved—and she loved him. As long as she loved him, he could believe that this was right and this was meant to be.

_How could I face the faceless days  
If I should lose you now?  
We're so close  
To reaching that famous happy end  
And almost believing this was not pretend  
Let's go on dreaming for we know we are  
So close  
So close  
And still so far_

He was in heaven, he thought, as he gazed at the girl. But the familiar burning in his throat seemed to prove otherwise. It didn't matter, he mused, and he welcomed the fire as he greedily took in her scarlet cheeks and luscious scent. He'd lasted six months without her when every minute was an eternity on its own. It couldn't have been the same for her, could it? He quickly realized that it had been worse for her.

And yet, she was there, soft and warm, but her eyes were pained and guarded even as she clung tightly against him. It was then that it occurred to him that he couldn't possibly have been forgiven. It was heaven's pity that brought her to him that moment only to lift her back to paradise and leave him burning for eternity.

So he held her close, as close as he could manage not to break her—he would not break her again. He allowed himself to imagine that he could keep her even though he knew, her hands her lips, her eyes, all there within reach, her heart may have already gone so far.


End file.
